OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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