Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
