Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
