lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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