I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
