I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
