i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
