Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So many bounce houses so little time
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
