so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
