He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize