New invention idea: vibrating tampons
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
