i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize