Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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