What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
