it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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