No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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