is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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