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The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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