I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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