u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was not drunk enough for that final.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
