woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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