he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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