Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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