what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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