im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize