Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The air was thick with penises
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
