New invention idea: vibrating tampons
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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