they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
