Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
not ubering you a puppy
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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