It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
