I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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