The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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