I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
try to milk me bitch
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