i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We have so much sex to catch up on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
