At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
