It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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