and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
