I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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