And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
