new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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