note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
