do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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