im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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