I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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