If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
