the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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