y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
