sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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