So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
