pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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