Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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