do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
