This girl is more easily done than said...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
