office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
