How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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