Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
